Gwendoogle – Ask Me About Transylvania

GwendoogleAnswers served with a clock I didn’t realize was ticking

Annie C. searched: Where did you go?
I was prepared to answer this question much more blithely before I realized that I last posted more than a month ago. For instance:

Most recently I went to Laguna Beach. It was wonderful, as well as a little surreal as an East Coast transplant. It seems more like a location on television than anything in reality. I got very sunburnt, because I am a walking piece of white bread. Thanks for asking!

But after forty-seven days of unexplained absence, I owe you more than that. As much fun as it would be to tell you all about my undercover mission to Transylvania privately funded by a paranoid, philanthropic billionaire…

Honestly, Annie, I didn’t go anywhere. I sort of went everywhere. Five days a week, I now hold down a job which I love. Slightly less often than that, I go out with friends to see a movie or knock down as many bowling pins as possible in two hours. A lot of nights, I’ve been getting my new boyfriend caught up on Game of Thrones and Firefly, while he thinks up what he’s going to ask me to watch in return. I’ve gone to the beach, San Diego, and Disney Land. I’ve had faraway friends drop by for drinks and nostalgia and inspiration. I’ve made plans to see family in the very near future.

All in all, with a shiny new car and a fully functioning driver’s license, I have rediscovered my old College Days problem of being an extroverted writer: I crave company, and need to protect my writing time from my own tendency to burst out of the house at every opportunity.

I am starting to develop rules for myself:

  1. Don’t go more than three days without three good hours of writing time. You won’t be happy.
  2. Don’t sacrifice good sleep to see friends. You need to be well-rested to sit still and write. Caffeine is only halfway effective.
  3. Reading time is essential. But is not writing time.
  4. You can leave the house to write. There is no reason to feel like a shut-in when Starbucks has delightful outside tables in the shade and your new home in Southern California is always breezy.
  5. Don’t get sunburnt. It’s not like it inhibits writing, but it is strangely distracting.
  6. Remember that while you love writing, and it makes you happy, yes, sometimes you run away from it, because it’s hard and seeing the new Captain America movie with good friends is easy.
  7. Remember how much you hate running away. And how good it feels to kick butt.
  8. Kick butt. Kick all the butts. (Apply this rule sparingly in other areas of life, please.)
  9. Make your own rules, and don’t feel weird that you have to drag yourself into alone time when so many other writers are dragging themselves out to be social. All writers are weird.
  10. Get carried away. But maybe not with this list, which has gone on too long, and is not actually productive writing, you guppy.

TL;DR – I’m doing that adult thing where I learn to budget time, take care of myself, be productive, and stay rested. As much as I say I love learning, I’m being pretty slow about this lesson. But I haven’t forgotten you. Don’t forget about me.

Any other extroverted writers out there?

The Scheherazade Achievement

Today:

Let me tell you a true story.

Once upon a time, in a land twenty-five hundred miles away, I chased a whim. Well, more than one – many more than one, because that’s a good hobby – but I’m thinking of one in particular. I decided to post on this blog every day. I missed some days, but kept track of my consecutive successes, and worked hard not to have to start the count over.

I posted for three hundred days in a row, aiming for a whole year, before I purposefully got lost in Wyoming. There is internet somewhere in Wyoming, but not in the mountains, in bear country, where I had to lock my shampoo in an air-tight container to keep from getting large, furry visitors in my tent. I started over.

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Gwendoogle – I Can Count to Five

GwendoogleAnswers served like we’re on Sesame Street

Kate Kearney searched: Favorite prompts and tactics for writing inspiration?
I have two, and they cannot be employed at the same time:

  1. Sit your butt down and write. Do not pass Go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. Turn off the internet and do not leave you writing spot until you have reached a specific goal, be it word count, page count, or specific thing you wanted down on paper.
  2. Do literally anything BUT write. Watch a movie. Read a book. Go bowling. See friends. Collect ideas and throw them away and collect some more. Recharge and restock.

At this point in my writing life, those two things comprise ninety-percent of my productivity.

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Gwendoogle – I Just Want to be Boromir in Aviators with a Chihuahua

GwendoogleAnswers served with something adorable at the end

Trebez searched: Do you want a dog? And if so, what sort of dog would you like?
I have wanted a dog since I was nine years old, which is to say that I want one in the same way I want a castle, and a Cinderella ballgown, and a pair of Aviator sunglasses like the fighter pilots wear. Don’t judge me.

I am very interested in the fairy tale where I buy a best friend, a loyal adventurer, a guardian, an adorable playmate. I have liked almost every dog I’ve ever met.

But I don’t like their spit. And I don’t like their fur all over my clothes every day. And I don’t really like the idea of my freedom being hampered by having to be home in time to take the dog out for a walk before she chews the couch in two.

So, do I want a dog? Yes. I want a Chihuahua-Cocker Spaniel mix, preferably all black with the Chihuahua’s ears, not the Spaniel’s. Because I have never seen a more adorable dog.

But do I want a dog? Not really. I just want to play with my friends’ dogs.

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