Gwendoogle Part LXVIII – Antiques, Slang, “Feels”, and Cowards


Answers served with a side of ice cream because it’s too darn hot around here

Flip the Otter searched: Antique furniture/antiques in general are supposedly very valuable. What are three antique items from Denmark, India, and Romania that have unusual value?
Would you like these $1,050 Danish salad servers, crafted by silversmith Georg Jensen?

Or would you rather have this $3,875 Indian door?

Or this $2,285 Romanian Sideboard?

Which consequently is the best place on the planet to hide something from me, because it’s very expensive, very old, and looks like it might fall apart if I breathe on it wrong, guaranteeing I will walk on the other side of the room from it for safety’s sake.

If you have something very large to hide, you should know I will also never touch that door.

If you just want to make sure I never eat salad again… I think you can guess what to do.

Flip the Otter searched: What are three items from the same countries that are fifty years old, but worthless?
As far as I can tell, no one wants their old toothbrushes. Their toothbrushes holders, however, are an entirely different five-hundred dollar story…

Auntie Em searched: What does “fo shizzle” actually mean?
Fo’ Shizzle is simply a slang bastardization of “for sure.” -Izzle was a common slang suffix in northern California in the nineties, descended from -ezzy in the eighties, which in turn was descended from the infix -izz-. For example: We’re gonna go hang out in the pizzark! Come chill with us.

Izzle wasn’t popularized across the rest of the country until Snoop Dogg included it in his 2000 song “Snoop Dogg (What’s My Name, Part 2).” After fifteen years, it’s still running rampant, and even Snoop has had enough. He told MTV News that he’d rather the world picked up Pig Latin than continue with all this tizzle, fizzle, dizzle stuff. Ateverwhay ouyay aysay, Oopsnay. Ateverwhay ouyay aysay.

Flip the Otter searched: How many times would you listen to “Long Live” by Taylor Swift on repeat?
No scientific studies have been funded on this topic. The closest the human language has come to describing an accurate number is:

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Flip the Otter searched: When in that repetition do you stop getting the feels?
I can listen to the song exactly .5 times before I get the “feels.” Because while the entire song makes me think of the fantastic group of women – friends, sisters, and heroes all – whom I graduated with, and specifically about that very last week after finales but before graduation when we were all trying to search out words that could stack together to raise a goodbye that was both sufficiently powerful and absolutely impermanent, the line that always hits me first comes two minutes and twenty seconds into the five-minute song:

And the cynics were outraged / screaming, “This is absurd!” / ‘Cause for a minute a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world

Because I graduated with a band of thieves who stole happiness and victory out of moments that should have been forgotten nothings, and no one will ever convince me that we didn’t rule the world every time we did.

To all my thieves – the family I was blessed to be born to, and the friends I have been blessed to find: I’ve had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.

Kate Kearney searched: Do questions or answers reveal more about a person?
Questions. Answers tell you what a person knows, and occasionally what they don’t, but a question will tell you what they know, what they they don’t and what they want to know, which is often more important than either of the other two.

DJ Matticus searched: As you wish?
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Flip the Otter searched: Who are the three cowards of all history and fiction that you loathe the most (off the top of your head)?
Off the top of my head:

1) Theon Greyjoy from HBO’s Game of Thrones, who was raised among men and women who have more courage than is advisable for a long life, and who seems to be making it his life goal to balance it out.

2) Dean Priest from L.M. Montgomery’s Emily novels, who loved as most cowards do: more intent on keeping his loved ones close to him, than on keeping them healthy or happy.

3) Ares from Homer’s Iliad, who, despite being a deathless, un-aging deity who revels in blood and destruction and the rot that chases war, still runs home crying to Mommy when he gets hurt on the battlefield. Just the fear of death, a fairy tale impossible thing for him, makes room for him on this list, though perhaps moves him less out of the “loathing” pile and into “plain laughable.”

Please note: I specifically avoided historical figures and choose fictional characters whose actions and motivations I saw first-hand, and can accurately call cowards.

Flip the Otter searched: Which three cowardly actions in all history and fiction do you hate the most (off the top of your head)?

1) Bobby Sharp’s decision not step into a room where his girlfriend was being attacked in North Country.

2) Lucas North’s murder and subsequent identity theft to save his own life in MI-5.

3) Dean Winchester’s decision to erase someone else’s memories and erase an entire situation rather than fight through it in Supernatural.

Flip the Otter searched: Are they the same?
With an overlap of zero, I think it’s safe to say no.

The difference, for those that know me, is that I have a strong attachment to the characters involved in the second list. I know they are capable of much better, expect better from them, and therefore their cowardice makes me angrier than any of the habitual things that Theon Greyjoy, Dean Priest, or Ares do.

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.

The question bucket currently has: 2 questions


4 thoughts on “Gwendoogle Part LXVIII – Antiques, Slang, “Feels”, and Cowards

  1. *Sniff* made me cry, yes that was an actual comment and not a question. Now onto the questions…. Quid est? Why is the motivation gone? How do we get addicted to things that are not actually entering the blood stream, for instance tv shows, games, ect? Do they fall under the same clinical/scientific definition of addiction and at what point? What are three things that ought to be done to grab hold of and enjoy the summer months? Why can’t I have magical space dragons? Will you answer the next five questions only with Firefly quotes? Why is the rum gone?Who did you say he was? What was the answer to number three? When am I supposed to kill it? Where did you put the THING? Why is lemon ice cream so refreshing? How does sunshine make you happy?

  2. They are all kissing books. Just as they are all love stories.
    Why did you pick Theon Greyjoy from HBO’s Game of Thrones rather than Theon Greyjoy from George RR Martin’s Song of Fire and Ice?
    Who is going to win this year’s World Cup?
    Would you have left Landon Donovan at home too, or would you have taken him to Brazil?

  3. What would you do with a sixty foot tall bio-mechanical Atlantean superweapon? Did you know Google Translate has Ancient Greek? Is there, and if so, what is the story of Achilles Spear? Do you ever want to visit Antarctica? What are good things to have in a secret base? What do you call people who cannot quite commit to superhero or supervillain? Where might I find a good demon hunting guide? How much sleep deprivation is dangerous? If Atlantis and Troy went to war, who would win? What are four obscure mythic relics? Which mythic or legendary relic would you want to own? Which would you destroy? What would you use portals to other dimensions to accomplish? How does one become motivated to clean? Why does everything happen at the same time? Will you answer this the following questions only in movie quotes and gifs? How did summer get so close? Why is it staring at me? Where am I? Who am I? How much longer can we go on like this? Do we have any other choice? Salted caramel gelato? Where in the world is that man? What is his secret identity? What do you fight for? Is that dang bucket full yet?

  4. What is the line between sanity and insanity? Between order and chaos? Fantasy and realism? Sleepy and awake? Should and should not? Responsibility and irresponsibility?

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