Excuses IX

#1 – I will not write a proper blog post today because I am having an argument with the English language, with its punctuation, and its grammar, and all the limitations therein. My mind is thinking in electricity and matter, things that resemble lightning storms and earthquakes, and syllables are too steady to hold them. And that sounds presumptuous and ridiculous, but the bare truth – that I can’t turn thoughts into accurate words – is also too steady, and I feel caught in motion.

#2 – I will not write a proper blog post today because I am having an argument with the English language. It is an argument which I cannot win, because it keeps pulling the age card – I’m the oldest! – and I have been a sibling too long to believe that I have anything that will beat that.

#3 – I will not write a proper blog post today because I am having an argument with the English language, and I am a poor loser. It is winning, but I am refusing to be so confined to such slight space between letters, so I am sitting in the narrowness of silence instead.

#4 – I will remember at some point that the argument is worth something, or else the winning would not be worth anything either.

#5 – I will remember that I am a formidable enemy, trained to twist and move and dance until the English language twists trying to chase me down and shapes itself into everything I meant it to be. I will remember that if the English language is winning today, it deserves a little victory dance, because I am not easy to beat down. And that is why I am writing this blog post. Although, it is not a proper blog post.

#6 – I will not write a proper blog post today because I needed the break. And it is okay to say that, out loud, where others can hear me. It is okay to take a prat fall. It is better if you can come up laughing, unbroken, and ready to try again. But a slip is never a crime, only a misstep, a mistake.

#7 – I will not write a proper blog post today because proper is a silly word. If I use words, spell them correctly, put them in neat lines on this page, separate them with all their commas and periods and exclamation points, fit them together until they say things, how is that improper?

#8 – I will not write a proper blog post today because I would rather be silly than stressed. On that note, I have a few words to share with you: balter, gruntled, defenestrate, bibliocubiculist, zedonk.

#9 – I will not write a proper blog post today because it is the wrong time of day to be trying to convince a flat piece of paper to let you do mad, creative things. That should be saved for the time of day when a flat piece of paper can still be persuaded that is not flat, and a piece of something much grander than some mashed up, smashed down tree pulp.

#10 – I will not write a proper blog post today because the sun is setting, and there are greater mysteries in the dark, worth more contemplation than the repeated, head-thwacking inquiry, why can’t I figure this out? The contemplation of aforesaid mysteries are also more likely to earn the correct answer to the latter question.

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