The Monkey Attack – Two Years on ANM

If you know me in real life, you’ve likely heard (and stopped in stunned confusion at) my traditional birthday wishes:

Happy, happy birthday,
from all of us to you!
We hope you have a great day
AND MONKEYS DON’T ATTACK YOU.

I picked it up in high school, from a friend who has since been intelligent enough to realize that it is a ridiculous thing to say – or shout – to someone on their birthday. I, however, have never stopped being amused, and have never found an adequate reason to deny myself the pleasure of a simple silliness.

I imagine that’s an obvious thing after two years and six-hundred and eighty-seven blog posts here on Apprentice Never Master. And, as of today, it has officially been two years.

 photo Celebratorygesture_zpseced5d36.gif

And since it’s my birthday, and I can party as I like, I’ve decided this would be a good time to wish for a monkey attack.

GibbonMonkey #1: The Great Gibbon of Gratitude

I started this blog for myself, as a place for me to practice and play. I may have wildly dreamed of, but never expected the amount of support I have received over the last two years. I have received so many kind comments, talked with so many amazing writers, and been encouraged by so many friends, new and old.

As of right now, I have 2,510 subscribers, and have just broken 18,000 lifetime views. I have thanked you all before, and I’ll do it again.

Thank you. Each and every one of you has felt like a fairy godmother (or gremlin godfather), granting me wishes on the night of the ball. And nothing has turned back to pumpkins yet, so you must be awesome.

As a further thank you, I’m extending my usual offer: Leave a link in the comments to any of your own blog posts, and I will drop by, read, and leave a comment of my own. Please don’t feel any hesitance in doing this. I don’t have nearly as much time as I would like to read, and this gives me an easy way to find great stuff and have fun for an afternoon. I love reading your posts, and just wish I spent more time on your blogs.

PatasMonkey #2: The Prime Patas Monkey of Pride

While I’ve written some blog posts by the seat of my pants, at eleven o’clock, racing for a midnight deadline, I’ve also posted some pieces I’m really proud of. Here are just a few of them:

Land-BoundOn the ocean, a storm rolled the world under its palm like so much clay, shaping it into something flashing bright and alive…

DeathlessLediah’s Name Day passed in all the usual ways…

The Next BreathThe house slouched between its neighbors, too old to lean out on its walls or keep its eaves straight…

Skirling LadiesIt was a rude game, fast and thick and full of names for plays that no good man would say in a church…

All His LiesDeidei answered the door as soon as she heard the knock – his knock, the five sing-song raps he’d learned and borrowed from his father – and smiled before she’d pulled the door open…

Miles AwayShe tended to just tune them out when they started speaking in different languages…

Gray LinesVardan shut his eyes when he heard the key in the lock…

Waking the Rest of ThemLord Brance was singing. Loudly…

AbandonedThis was not an alley. Alleys were designed to be walked, to draw shortcuts between streets…

Killing TimeThe hourglass sat on the other end of the table, dropping sand with the kind of arrogant indifference that only inanimate objects can achieve…

If you remember really liking one of these, or one I haven’t mentioned, I would love for you to send it on to someone else who you think would enjoy it. Spread the love, the smiles, and the very strange stuff that happens on this blog. (It is my birthday.)

tamarinbabiesMonkey #3: The Terrific Toddling Tamarin

Two-year-olds are toddlers. Adorable toddlers, who have just discovered the word mischief, and make life interesting on a daily basis, but man, do they have a lot of growing to do.

I know. I was two once.

It was years before that shirt fit right. Don't get me started on the shoes...

It was years before that shirt fit right. Don’t get me started on the shoes…

This blog will hopefully continue for a long time, and will grow as it does. Feel free to click some buttons in the following poll, to help me see how you’re reading right now, so I can decide would be best for the future:

Roloway-MonkeyMonkey #4: The Repetitious Roloway Monkey

Thank you, again, for your time, your attention, and that killer smile. This blog is one of the main reasons I stay up too late, and wake up smiling.

 

DaBrazzasMonkeyMonkey #5: The DeBrazzas Monkey

Because it’s not really a party until you have five monkeys and one of them looks like a creature from a 1980s fantasy film.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s