Gwendoogle Part LXXV – 26.5 Toothpicks and .33 Giraffes

GwendoogleAnswers served with the full knowledge that I’m out of town and all the insanity here was baked weeks ago

Kate Kearney searched: Why is money complicated?
Because it’s a giant bucket in the middle of your life, and everything you do has a hand in it, grabbing what it needs. And there’s only one or two hands dropping money back in.

Because it’s a bed sheet, and unless you’re careful to remain content on the bed that fits under it, you’ll spend most of your time pulling the sheet back and forth to cover wherever you are at the moment.

Because it’s the one thing that everyone on the block agrees you need, which means we’re all trying to spend as little as possible, and earn as much as possible. It’s a tug of war, not a merry-go-round, and we’ve all got a competitive edge.

Kate Kearney searched: Did my cat steal it?

Your money?

 photo Deanspatentedblinkandturn_zpsdee7c245.gif

Is your cat a world-class criminal mastermind seeking to undermine your effectiveness as stop-gap between it and the rest of the world?

Then, probably.

Sandieandieandie searched: How tall are you?
I am taller than Prince, Bruno Mars, Daniel Radcliff, and Seth Green. I am shorter than Jeremy Renner, Elijah Wood, Jason Momoa, and Gwendoline Christie.

I’m about 26.5 toothpicks tall.

I’m about .33 full-grown giraffes tall.

This seems like a valid solution to the foot versus meter debate.

Kate Kearney searched: What are three ways to instigate positive change?
1) Make a plan. If you’re a Big-Picture person, make a Big-Picture plan. If you’re not, skip directly to step two: make a plan for tomorrow. What is the number one thing you can do better tomorrow? Mark it down. Then mark down the second most important, and the third. Then stop. Get up tomorrow, and do those three things. Expect nothing of yourself above those three things.

2) Congratulate yourself. Unless you are in the process of making your next List for Tomorrow, don’t tell yourself all the things you didn’t do but should have. Remind yourself of what you did do. Do it over and over, until you are honestly proud of yourself. Set up rewards, if that will help you pat yourself on the back. Just make sure that your rewards aren’t counterproductive to your goals. ;)

3) Recognize when you make excuses for yourself. If you’re making them before you’ve even failed at your goal, stop. You’re only giving yourself permission to not do something you want to do, and when it’s done, that’s a note-to-self that won’t read well.

Kate Kearney searched: Why is changing for the better harder than changing for the worst?
I imagine a more technical mind would answer with the word entropy somehow, but I’ll say it’s because we all tend to settle.

Even if we’re not exactly lazy, we will constantly calculate the value of our time, and whether the gap between “good enough” and “that’s right” is worth spending a little more. We settle for what is almost what we want, and for what is sufficient, and what works for now. One step at a time, we veer off the track we had originally aimed for, and after a while, when we are far enough along to see that we have changed, momentum is never on our side.

And momentum is what we’re really looking for. Because change happens all the time. Direction and speed are what shifts.

Olivia B. searched: What is the nearest orange object to you right now?
A one foot fish, about two feet in front of me, hanging on the window. I use a tropical shower sheet as a window curtain, and there’s a bright orange fish swimming right in front of my nose when I sit at my computer.

I had not noticed it before this exact moment. Thank you for forcing me to be observant.

Boomshadow searched: What is more smile-inducing: a child’s laughter or the sneeze of a baby koala?
It probably depends on the child, and the koala, and the person doing the smiling, but I’d vote for the child’s laughter. Personally, I have a hard time walking past a kid without smiling at him or her, even when they’re just bouncing against the wall in that bored way that they do. If they’re doing something silly, and enjoying it, and laughing like little imps, I’d smile before I thought to stop myself.

But I’ve never hear a baby koala sneeze. That might be magical, too.

Kate Kearney searched: Why can’t I finish this project?
Because your grandchildren keeping sneaking back from the future and unraveling your work. Apparently, if you finish it too early, you will have enough free time on your hands to start a new fashion trend called Socks-For-Hats.

Your grandchildren really don’t like Socks-For-Hats.

Plus, it’s a school project to change a minor point in history and examine the consequences.

Flip the Otter searched: If you had to spend three million dollars in a month – and you couldn’t give it all away, and you couldn’t give people exorbitant gifts, and you couldn’t have any assets at the end of the month – how would you spend it?
Did you mean: How would you spend three million dollars in one month, being guiltlessly selfish about it?

I would immediately fly to Greece. I would rent a boat, and tour the Cyclades, and go north to Thermopylae, and eat in every restaurant in Athens. I would take as many of my friends and family as I could with me. And no, that wouldn’t be a gift to them. It would be a gift to me, because there is some freedom in being alone, but there is greater adventure in being together.

Then, I would consider buying a library. Then wonder if there was such a thing as a privately owned library anymore, and determine that what I probably meant to buy is a bookstore with an interesting return policy. Then, I would remember that I am not supposed to have any assets at the end of this month, and stay in Greece a while longer, feeling understandably, but only slightly, disappointed.

I would donate money to a few of the colleges that I thought looked amazing when I was applying at the end of high school, and ask them to use it to either bolster their English departments or start a Creative Writing program. Because their lack in the latter department is most of what kept me from attending them.

I’d give a nice chunk to the school I did attend, too, because I like that place, and I very selfishly want that school to continue doing what it’s doing. It was exactly the kind of space to breathe which I needed at that time.

Then I’d spend the rest of my month in Greece, writing, going out, eating well, enjoying the sunshine, and trying to think of funny names to make those colleges give their new Creative Writing departments. If I spend all the of the three million before I buy return tickets, and I get stranded there, so be it.

Kate Kearney searched: How often does the blue moon occur?
Blue moon commonly describes the second full moon to occur inside a single solar calender month, which occurs once every 2.7 years.

If however, you use blue moon to describe when the moon actually turns blue, you’ll have to wait for a large volcanic eruption, or widespread fires. It’s the dust and debris in the air that causes the color change, not any repeating celestial cycle.

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.

The question bucket currently has: 74 questions


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s