Will and Won’t Do

If I could ask one favor of you, reader whom I like to think of as my fairy godmother/fairy frogfather, it would be for you to read everything tonight like it was written with a smile and light-as-helium flippancy. It wasn’t, because it hasn’t been that sort of day, but I would feel better if it came across the way. Since I believe that you all have magic wands covered in glitter and feathers and LED lights that may or may not spell out inside joke nonsense words like PIE and SQUID and SNUFFLEUPAGORAGUS, I believe that you can wave those things around and make me into a beautiful flippant princess.

See, today just didn’t turn out to be as good a day as it looked to be when I woke up this morning. And when I woke up, after five hours of sleep when my body has generally been craving a fat nine or ten, it didn’t look to be that good. At best, it was going to be a Happy-To-Be-A-High-Functioning-Sociopathic-Zombie sort of day.

I’ve spent most of the last two weeks writing a character named Zain. If Zain were real, the following conversation might have taken place on a Happy-To-Be-A-Zombie sort of day:

Me: Hey. Let’s work.
Zain: You okay?
Me: I’ll lie and say yes.
Zain: Let’s play hookey. I’ve got a pizza, a party-size bag of M&Ms, and a whole stack of DVDs.
Me: We have work to do.
Zain: Sorry. No. We have a day to turn around. Resistance is futile. Sit your butt down on the couch before I duct tape you to it.

And the fact that I wrote a Part I yesterday with the full intention of writing a Part II today doesn’t much matter to him. So, today turns into the sort of day that I have a hard time writing, an easy time watching back-to-back-to-back episodes of bad television. Because I believe in the threat of fictional duct tape.

I wish I didn’t have these days. I wish that I wasn’t having one of these days today. Still, I am.

What I don’t have any problem with is the presence of Zain and the quiet mental processes that he represents which say that it’s okay to be imperfect, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to not think too hard today about should and shouldn’t be.

But I’m still not going to miss a day on this blog.

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