Gwendoogle Part XCV – We’ve Got Food. We’ve Got Weapons. We’ve Got a Boat. Ready?

GwendoogleAnswers served with a lovely jaunt into foreign idioms

Kate Kearney searched: What is the definition of pumprine?
Pumprine could refer to either the cross-bred plant formed by combining a pumpkin vine and a holm oak tree, or the fruit that said plant bears.

The Pumprine tree is shorter than the holm oak, with wide-flat leaves like the pumpkin vine.

The Pumprine fruit looks like small pumpkin with an acorn’s hat, and is generally mashed and eaten with cinnamon. They also cost about seventy dollars a pound because of their rarity and falsity.

Flip the Otter searched: Is there any sense to the song “Here we go a wassailing among the leaves so green” when they are clearly wassailing in the winter and therefore no greenery?
Off the top of my head, I would suggest one of two things:

1) Not all climates include a winter severe enough for the trees to lose all their green leaves. It is possible that the original singers’ winters included greenery.

2) Even if a climate does include severe winters, it could also support one of many species of evergreen trees. As their name suggests, they remain green in much colder weather than most others, so again, winter could have greenery. In contrast with white snow or brown earth, those trees even appear more green than they do in summer, which might make them worth commenting on.

After a little research, I’ll add a third option:

3) There appears to be an old theory that the original purpose of wassailing was not to trade songs for beers and treats from your neighbors, but to sing the cider trees awake and scare away the evil spirits that might destroy the apples. Such an activity would not only allow for greenery, but require it. Or else, I’m confused about what sort of cider trees they were growing.

Neekers searched: When will pigs fly?
On the second Tuesday of the week. On a week with three Thursdays. When the sun rises in the West.

When grapes ripen on the willow. When chicken have teeth. When the owl’s tail blossoms. When a cow coughs. When the crayfish on the hill whistles. When frogs grow hair. When fish climb trees.

On St. Nobody’s Day. On British Thanksgiving. At the cows’ wedding.

When it snows in summer. When hell freezes over. When it’s snowing red snowflakes.

When a cactus grows on my hand. When I see the back of my head.

When I wear a ruffly pink dress.

Neekers searched: Will you help them?
Sure, why not?

Kate Kearney searched: What’s the difference between a schooner and a cutter?
A schooner is larger than cutter. By a lot.

The schooner has at least two masts, and can have up to seven, with the first mast being the shortest of the lot. It is generally configured with job, staysail, foresail, and mainsail. It can also have topsail and/or a yankee jib and fisherman sail. It’s also about the end of the “This complicated, but not too complicated” spectrum, right before the “Gwen is so confused right now, what sail goes where?” spectrum. It generally only has two decks to keep a shallow draft as its triangular sails make it desirable for maneuvering in coastal winds. Schooners were also well-liked for trade and fishing because they required smaller crews than other ships of comparable size.

A cutter is a smaller boat more similar to a sloop. It has a single mast, with two foresails (generally a jib and staysail) and a mainsail. It would be used for short trips, or as a support vessel on a longer trip where it accompanied a larger ship.

Neekers searched: What’s the difference between a spear and a javelin?
A spear is a longer weapon than a javelin, and it has more diverse uses in combat.

A spear averages six feet in length, but usually stays in the five to nine foot range. While it can be thrown (and remain accurate up to 40 feet), it is more commonly used at closer ranges. The length of a spear allows the wielder to keep a swordsman far enough away to avoid his blade but still be able to land a killing blow of his own. At even closer ranges, a spear could be used as a simple staff. If the wielder changes his grip, he could also use the spear as a sword, though it would have a narrower threat range than a regular sword, because trying to sweep the spear too far to the side or rear with a choked up grip will run the spear shaft into the wielders back.

A javelin is typically three to four feet long, and is purely intended as a missile. It can remain accurate up to 70 feet, and can go as high as 200 feet if it is used in conjunction with a throwing device. The javelin is meant to get through armor or shielding at long ranges.

Neekers searched: Are there clouds in the sky?
Somewhere there are absolutely clouds in this sky. It’s a big ol’ sky around this big ol’ planet.

Flip the Otter searched: What was the single longest post of questions in the history of Gwendoogle?
As a general rule, I aim for Gwendoogle posts to be about 1000 words long. That usually covers eight to ten questions, but sometimes, when I have a whole string of questions on the same subject, I try to keep them all together and end up with fourteen questions that take 1800 words to answer. I think this one is the current record holder.

Taylor Swift searched: Are we out of the woods?
Answer the following questions (if you give a positive answer to any of them, then no, you are not out of the woods yet):

1) Are you surrounded by trees?
3) Are you on your way to Grandmother’s house?
4) Are you in a house surrounded by trees?
5) Could the individual walking behind you be called a Big Bad Wolf?
6) Are you in a tree surrounded by trees?
7) Are you currently experiencing something that might be described as “scary”, “exciting”, “foolishness”, or “anything”?
8) Are you in a frying pan?

*Those things can happen in the woods, but may not be definitive. Please confirm by checking against your other answers.

Kate Kearney searched: Will you answer questions until the end of time, or at least the end of the internet?
 photo Jensensaysnothenyes_zpsorzn8sdj.gif

I have ninety-nine problems, and an addiction to answering questions is one hundred of them.

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.

The question bucket currently has: 36 questions

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