Gwendoogle Part XCVII – I’ll Be On My Island With My Gold and My Wigs


Answers served in doubles or triples

Kate Kearney searched: What is some treasure that is not silver and gold?
Maestro? E minor, please.

[sings, while sitting on a piano]

Bouquets of daises and hugs from my sister
Bright colored high heels and strange new tongue twisters
Bowls full of sweet-scented yellow rose petals
These are some treasures with no precious metal

Wide stripes of patience and pig-headed notions
Photos and high notes, calm fields and wild oceans
Long lullabies sung to babes in their cradles
These are some treasures with no precious metal

Broad sandy beaches with breezes and good books
Found lamps and found chairs you know just where to put
Red bikes with tassels and lights on their peddles
These are some treasures with no precious metal

Kate Kearney searched: What kinds of treasures are silver and gold?
Necklaces, rings, bracelets, crowns, and anklets.

Coins, bullion, and backings.

Computers, electronics, data storage, photograph developers, and mirrors.

Dental augmentations, antibiotics, and protective food containers.

You can make a lot of precious things from silver and gold and ninety percent of them have nothing to do with decoration or ostentation.

Neekers searched: Why does “vault” have a u in it, but “halt” does not?
I’m not entirely sure. I suspect that it has something to do with the fact that English is more likely to pack extra letters into words they borrow from Latin, than in words they borrow from Old High German.

Ducky searched: Why don’t any of bread, knead, wear, or great sound like each other?
Because of the 1500s.

Bread, knead, wear, and great, are the leftover evidence of a language that was simultaneously trying to solidify and liquidize.

Ducky searched: What’s up with the unpronounced “s” in island?
Once upon a time, people every where thought that Latin sounded really cool.

Wait. What am I talking about? People still think that Latin sounds really cool. Ad astra per aspera. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant. Semper ubi sub ubi.

But once upon a time, someone thought that Latin was so cool, that they stole the “s” out of Latin’s insula, to throw into Old English’s iglund.

But apparently, it wasn’t a cool enough “s” to pronounce.

Kate Kearney searched: Will you wear wigs?
As a general rule, I’ll agree to try anything once, so long as there is no significant reason not to.

I have worn a wig once.

It was eleven years ago, though, so I suppose I could do it again.

Kate Kearney searched: When will you wear wigs?
[shifty eyes] Are you sure your name isn’t Hans Jensen? Or Dominic Monaghan?

I’ll wear a wig on Wednesday, because everything is better with alliterations.

Bekah searched: How will you wear wigs?
I’ll put one on each elbow, one on my chin, one on each cheek, five on my head, and a whole row down my spine. Then I’ll do somersaults, and see how many people mistake me for a tumbleweed or a circus porcupine with great conditioner.

Paramore searched: What are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?
[looks around]

[notices that the world is orbiting the sun, which is in turn orbiting something else, which is orbiting something else, which is orbiting something else, which is…]

[looks at what she is doing right now]

I guess I’m going to curl up on the couch, write a blog post and watch the Patriots and the Seahawks turn a fight over a children’s toy into a nuanced display of teamwork and athleticism.

Paramore searched: What are you gonna do when nobody wants to fool with you?
I want to say that I would celebrate. But that’s only if you’re using the negative connotation of “fool.”

With me, it’s far more likely that you’re not, so I’d probably cry a little. Then try to figure out how I had altered the time stream in order to make all my best friends (also known as partners in crime) unwilling to join in my shenanigans.

And then I’d do whatever it took to change it back. I’ve got pranks to pull here, people. [dons superhero tights]

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer.

The question bucket currently has: 21 questions


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