Gwendoogle Part XCVIII – 100 Duck-Sized Horses Have Trouble Starting Piracy

GwendoogleAnswers served in between dance sessions during the Grammys

Bekah searched: What happened that caused people to become obsessed with horse-sized ducks and duck-sized horses?
October 9th, 2003. The City of Sound blog. And whatever it is in the human brain that causes any meme to spread like wildfire.

In 2003, the city design blog, City of Sound published a photograph of a newspaper clipping where a man named Chris explained that he and his friends wanted the public to weigh in on whether a horse-sized duck, or 100 duck-sized horses would win in a fight. Chris thought that the 100 small horses would win, but he was also beginning to have unexplained doubts. Perhaps, rather than being obsessed, we are all just very dedicated to assuaging that doubt, in one way or another.

Of course, I’ve been told that, based on their respective physiologies, neither of them would survive the size transformation: A duck the size of a horse wouldn’t be able to support its own weight, and would be likely to break bones just trying to stand. A horse the size of a duck would freeze to death.

Kate Kearney searched: What do you think of lemurs?
I think that they are remarkably cute for things named “spirits of the night” because so many people associated them with evil spirits.

But then, I’m the woman who freezes whenever an outdoor cat unexpected passes her in the dark, and cats are pretty cute, too.

Kate Kearney searched: What happens when your story takes a sharp left turn from where you thought it was going?
Tell it to take three more, and then decide in editing whether you want to keep that strangely lively loop of story.

Or follow it to the end, and decide whether, maybe, that first section was actually the off-track bit.

Or decide you just can’t work with your story when it gets like this, throw your hands in the air, and walk away until one or both of you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

Kate Kearney searched: Have you watched the Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole?
Image result:
 photo marlinknowsyouretryingtosaysomething_zpsqr6t6pnr.gif

Dr. Blowhole’s revenge came back, but not Dr. Blowhole? How?

(Nope. I have not seen it. Whatever it is.)

Kate Kearney searched: Where is my hairbrush?
I ate it.

(Sorry. I tried to resist.)

Kate Kearney searched: Why are first steps always so hard?
Because an object in motion likes to stay in motion, and an object at rest likes to stay at rest.

We spend a lot of time convincing ourselves that the motion is worth giving up our current rest. Then, even once we’ve persuaded ourselves, we have to pause because we know that we’ll meet our goals faster and easier if we don’t have to alter course in mid-stride. We want to make sure we start on the right foot, and take that straight, smooth path to the finish line. We spent a lot longer time trying to decide which foot is our right foot.

With only two feet, and a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right, you would think it wouldn’t take us so long. But a lot of us need to check and double check that we don’t have a third foot hidden away somewhere.

Kate Kearney searched: Why are some things easy if you don’t think about them first?
Because we have bodies that remember how to move, how to breathe, how to bleed without thinking for a reason.

Because sometimes conscious thought gets wrapped up in subconscious apprehension or expectation, then subconscious hesitance and worry that it won’t be quite as good as we want, and our muscles respond to subconscious better than conscious.

Because sometimes it is better to just let our bodies remember how to move, and let our minds record the history of it to learn from next time.

Kate Kearney searched: Where did my pirates disappear to?
If you have lost your pirates, there are two likely reasons they have disappeared:

1) Your pirates have been out for a while, and they’ve needed to retreat to a safe place to recruit, resupply, or repair. They’re likely in one of the infamous Pirate Havens, a place to lay anchor where the authorities are either unable or unwilling to enforce maritime laws.

I don’t know quite where you are, but you can check Salé, Algiers, Tunis, Barataria Bay, Campeche, Porto Farina, Harardhere, Libertatia, Port Royal, and Tortuga for all your favorite rascals.

2) They are waiting for the opportune moment to strike. Look over your shoulder.

Kate Kearney searched: Where have all the otters gone?
Have you looked here? The Daily Otter

Or here? Otter Puns

Or over here? Cute Otters

How about here? Otters Don’t Flush


Kate Kearney searched: Do you get tired of certain types of questions?
I think, in order to get tired, my lovely searchers would have to ask the sort of questions that could be easily categorized.

They don’t.

I just get an endless string of silly, engaging, interesting queries without any warning for what might be coming next, and I never get bored.

Kate Kearney searched: Can you tell that Flip the Otter and I had a competition to fill up the question bucket?
I absolutely could. I got such a flood of brilliant questions, I figured something had to be inspiring you to the most excellent kind of madness.

Now… can you tell who won? ;)

(I did.)

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.

The question bucket currently has: 14 questions


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