Gwendoogle Part XCIX – I’m an Addict, But I’ve Got Four Irish Last Names and I Know How to Use Them

GwendoogleAnswers served with a lot of lists

Kate Kearney searched: Will you tell me about television shows?
The first television show I ever got hooked on was called The Mysterious Cities of Gold. My mother had recorded every episode off public television when my older brother was little, and I grew up on the six precious VHS tapes that held the entire epic story of three kids and three crazy Spaniards who ran around the exotic Americas on the search for the last City of Gold to protect it from greedy conquerors. The fact that I still find sailors in blue capes to be captivating, can only be blamed on this show.

Half a decade later, my family recorded every episode we could find of Star Trek Voyager. Every episode. Out of order. And I still watched it as if it as if each episode was the story equivalent of a potato chip. It was impossible to have just one more.

A few years after that, it was Stargate: Atlantis, and I was bribing myself to work by allowing myself to watch the episodes in fifteen minute chunks after every goal accomplished. I learned to work fast.

And then I started college, and the mad tumble into television began. Where my parents had kept my childhood largely free from the electronic baby-sitter, my freshman year with its newly freedom gorged weekends and evenings was open to anything: Stargate: SG-1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Angel. Firefly. Chuck. Heroes. Bones. House. Dollhouse. Castle. Supernatural.

Moonlighting. Gilmore Girls. The Tudors. Game of Thrones. True Blood. Arrow. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Avatar. Doctor Who. The Vicar of Dibley. Merlin.

Spooks. Robin Hood. Burn Notice. Fringe. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Carter.

Mythbusters. Deadliest Warrior. Project Runway.

The Unusuals. Being Human. Almost Human. Vikings. Downton Abbey. Once Upon a Time. Sherlock. Parks and Recreation. Lost. Teen Wolf. Reign. Elementary. The Musketeers. Orange is the New Black. Smallville. 24. Scrubs. Boy Meets World. Rome. The Legend of Korra.

Hello, my name is Gwendolyn and I’m an addict to the easy acquisition of story through visual medium.

You’re going to have to narrow your search terms.

Neekers searched: What is the original meaning of Lynch as a surname?

Me: Well, that’s turning out to be an interesting question. Do you mean the English or the Irish, or the Other Irish Lynch?
Neekers: Irish!
Me: Wait. Irish? Or Other Irish?
Neekers: Other Irish.
Me: Well, which one is that?
Neekers: You were supposed to label them, Gwenny.
Me: But there are four of them!
Neekers: … Other Irish C.
Me: Is that the one that has the word “sea” in it? Or the third one on the list? Oh wait. Those are the same one.
Neekers: Technically… Other Irish C would be the fourth one on the list. ‘Irish’ would be number one, ‘Other Irish A’ would be number two…
Me: [blinks, because her little sister is treading dangerously close to math-like subjects]
Neekers: [stops]
Me: Which one do you want?!
Neekers: The one with the word “sea” in it!

This is absolutely why I shouldn’t be allowed to be a search engine. I do not return helpful results in a reasonable amount of time.

However, the modern surname Lynch is most likely a descendent of one of the following:

1) Old English’s Hlinc, meaning “hill,” denoting a person who holds residence on the hill.

2) Irish’s Loingseach, meaning “seaman,” originally used by a number of small clans around Ireland.

3) Irish’s Mac Loingsigh, meaning “son of a seaman.”

4) Irish’s Mac Loingseacháin, meaning “son of a [little, dear, or familiar] seaman.”

5) Irish’s Ó Labhradha, meaning “spokesman.”

Kate Kearney searched: What the heck is that?
Image result:
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 photo LeslieKnowsThisIsATrap_zpsykeifeva.gif
 photo Sheldonsaysitsatrap_zps29gfcn37.gif
 photo Malsaysthisisatrap_zpscpvqb2wx.gif

Kate Kearney searched: Why is failure so scary?
Because most of us got confused when people started telling us that Santa Claus and fairies and unicorns didn’t exist, and we started doubt second chances and the rest of the wonderful things as well.

And because none of us like to be at fault for losing something that we wanted. We can almost handle chance taking it away, or God, or the supervillain in the corner with the fabulous black greased mustache, but nothing hurts so much as feeling like we have robbed ourselves.

Momma searched: What are some weird animal sleeping habits?
Walruses have internal air sacks they can inflate to help them stay afloat while they sleep for long stretches in the water. Porpoises swim in circles while they sleep. Baby dolphins and baby killer whales do not sleep for the first few months of their lives.

Migrating birds take naps for seconds at a time in order to maintain continuous flight.

Grizzly bears can give birth while they’re hibernating. American Black Bears’ heart rates will increase when something comes close to them during hibernation, waking them up if need be. The Land Snail can hibernate for up to three years in order to avoid a drought.

Brown bats can sleep up to nineteen hours a day. Koalas can sleep up to 20 hours a day. Giraffes sleep twenty to thirty minutes a day, a few minutes at a time.

And I have never been so thankful to be human.

Kate Kearney searched: How do you learn new skills?
Step 1: Choose a skill
Step 2: Carve out time to learn that skill, and protect it like a baby kitten. That is your time. Don’t let anyone steal it.
Step 3: Find someone or something from which to learn the key rules pertaining to that skill. Listen closely.
Step 4: Practice
Step 5: Eh, practice a little more
Step 6: It’s not that you’re doing it wrong, but… practice some more.
Step 7: Yeah, that’s almost… practice more?
Step 8: So, more practice?
Step 9: Practice sounds good.
Step 10: Allow yourself to adjust the key rules you were originally given based on the miles and miles and miles of practice that you have now been through. When you can do that safely, with better results than when you followed the rules to the letter, you have learned a new skill. But careful, now someone else can track you down for their Step 3.

Kate Kearney searched: Have you fixed the hole in the bucket?
Well, first I had to find straw, and then the straw was too long, and the axe was too dull, and the whetstone was too dry, and I was all out of pickles, and I lost my potato cannon, and the snow was only two inches deep, and the chihuahua was too tall to complete my world domination plans and…

No. That darn bucket just seems to lose questions like crazy.

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.

The question bucket currently has: 4 questions (and one of them is taking forever to translate)


One thought on “Gwendoogle Part XCIX – I’m an Addict, But I’ve Got Four Irish Last Names and I Know How to Use Them

  1. Where can I find a tree full of questions? What do you think about wooden dice? What are the best woods for the hulls of seagoing ships? How much mac’n’cheese is too much? Have you ever worn snow shoes? How do you feel about numbered lists? How do you know when you are unconsciously avoiding something? Why can’t I go to sleep when I’m sleepy? Why am I dreaming about haunted houses? What do you believe are the best weapons for a zombie apocalypse? Which is scarier during a zombie apocalypse, zombies or other humans? What would you do if you discovered a conspiracy? How valuable is the truth? Read anything good lately? Why is this chocolate cake so delicious? How do Sea Clan ships handle cabin fever? Maraschino cherries? What are three obscure colors? Do you have a favorite gemstone? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? How long can this go on? Can I go to sleep now?

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