Excuses XII

#1 – I’m not writing a blog post today because my dog ate my laptop. Except, I don’t have a dog (I want a dog). And don’t ask me what I’m typing this on right now.

#2 – I’m not writing a blog post today because I fell in a really deep mud puddle, and I’m fine, but my blog post drowned.

#3 – I’m not writing a blog post today because (and I quote) “our top priority is now saving all the birds.” (If you can tell me what show I’m watching instead of doing the work I’m supposed to be doing, I will write you a blog post tomorrow.)

#4 – I’m not writing a blog post today because I’m too busy coming up with more reasonable excuses. It’s not going well.

#5 – I’m not writing a blog post today because I ran into a goomba. It was traumatic, my motorcycle spun all the way around, and three coins popped out of nowhere around me, which I was unable to pick up because none of them were directly in front of me, which may have made me angrier than the time that I lost in hitting the goomba, and… I’ve been talking about this for a long time now. I should stop.

#6 – I’m not writing a blog post today because I heard thinking is bad for you. In fact, I have heard that four times over the last week, so I figured it must be true. Right, Best Friend’s Boyfriend?

#7 – I’m not writing a blog post today because I make good life choices, and this morning that meant watching three episodes of How to Get Away with Murder in a row. I don’t really do well with decision making before noon.

#8 – I’m not writing a blog post today because I also helped my little sister with stacks upon stacks of paperwork that will decide her future in all the best ways. It was exciting, and exhausting, and inspired me to hide under a blanket and watch another episode of How to Get Away with Murder.

#9 – I’m not writing a blog post today because my feet are cold. And I’ve heard that that’s a good explanation for not even starting something.

#10 – I’m not writing a blog post today because tomorrow morning, at an hour that even the sun doesn’t haul itself out of bed for, I will be catching a plane home, and tonight I get to sit on a couch next to one of my best friends. There is no contest.

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