Kate Kearney searched: What should I eat for dinner tonight?
I once had an acquaintance ask me what he wanted to eat, sitting across from me at a restaurant table. I instantly said no. I apparently have a self-preservation instinct that says it’s a terrible and terrifying idea to tell another human being what they want to eat.
But you said should. Apparently I have no sense of self-preservation surrounding that question.
Lately I’ve been craving quesadillas, beef stroganoff, bacon cheeseburgers, and pasta primavera. Which are all things that I am not allowed to have on my new diet, and you should not eat any of them because I would be too jealous.
You should eat a Chicken Enchilada Casserole, because I need someone to tell me if it’s any good. It looks tasty, but it says casserole, and I am secretly a five-year-old.
Trebez searched: What is your opinion on spontaneous human combustion and the theories behind it?
My opinion on spontaneous human combustion: Which one of the fates do I have to bribe to make sure that never happens to me? Please tell me it’s one of the Moirai, because I don’t think the Parcae are overly fond of me after all the time I’ve spent dissing the Romans, and I don’t think the Sudice or the Norns even know who I am.
My opinion on the theories behind spontaneous human combustion: Without tempting any of the aforementioned fates, I don’t believe any of them. And they terrify me. So, I like to hear Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage bust them, and I like to read articles that point out that most reported cases involve someone infirm, incapacitated, or intoxicated who had also been smoking.
Except for that one case where an astronaut was caught in a massive bombardment of cosmic rays and afterward experienced several thousand instances of spontaneous self-combustion. I believe that one wholeheartedly.
ElvisLivesinCanada searched: Would you rather change gender every time you sneezed, or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?
Um. I’ll change gender. The second one sounds like an incredible amount of brain damage without any way it would end well. What else wouldn’t I be able to tell the differences between if I couldn’t see the difference between an inanimate object and a moving, breathing person? Would I mix up a tree with my shoe? Would I mix up my computer with the world’s tallest building? Would I even be able to read?!
Kate Kearney searched: When does an illyock cry?
When he stubs his toe; when he watches movies about animals finding their humans again; when he’s standing in the grocery store after a really bad day, staring at the empty space in the freezer aisle where his favorite ice cream should be; when otherwise excellent books end on a cliffhanger that serves absolutely no purpose other than to beg that reader to come back for the sequel.
Olivia D. searched: If you had the chance to be invisible for one day, what would you do?
Honestly, I would probably go mess with the Ghost Hunters.
Kate Kearney searched: Do you have a favorite flavor of jellybean?
Not that I know of. I don’t eat jelly beans very often.
However, if other candies are any measure, lemon is a safe bet.
Kate Kearney searched: Are there certain candies that you won’t touch?
Novelty-shaped gummies. They are never the right consistency, and I’m done being disappointed.
BobbyJohnWinchester searched: What is your favorite joke?
Q: How do you confuse a blond?
A: Stick him in a round room and tell him to take a nap in the corner.
Q: How does a blond confuse you?
A: He comes back after an hour and says, “Thanks, I needed that.”
Don’t ask me why. It’s just stuck with me for a long time.
Kate Kearney searched: Do you have an eventual home wishlist?
I don’t think so, because I don’t think I have enough to properly call it a “list.”
I want an attic which is actually worth going into. It should have one window, with a window seat and the world’s most comfortable cushions where I can curl up and pretend to work, but really just get lost in a thousand good books The rest of it should be spooky and wonderful and full of all the things that can never be trash.
And I want a blank wall to doodle on and repaint as I please.
And I want all my furniture to be light enough that I can rearrange a room on a whim.
I’m not sure what else I want badly enough to put on a wishlist.
Kate Kearney searched: Bees?
I could do without them. They’re not really an indoor fixture, and I find more than three tend to make your guest leery of the patio.
Robert F. searched: Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
Mostly, they don’t.
Most seedless plants are made from cuttings from lab-engineered plants. Either the seedless plant is grafted onto another plant, or the original plant becomes so large that it can be separated into two self-sustaining plants.
Watermelons specifically, however, can be made seedless by cross-pollinating two species of watermelon, creating a seed that will only produce sterile (aka seedless) fruit.
Kate Kearney searched: Do highlighters please you?
Bright colors please me. Markers please me. But I don’t think I’ve used a highlighter since I was fourteen and decided to go through my first novel and highlight each character’s dialogue in a specific color in an epic strategy for avoiding actually editing the thing. I think I told myself that it would be helpful for making sure characterization was consistent.
I’m not sure if I used highlighters before that, either.
It has suddenly struck me that I might have stolen those highlighters from someone. And I think they’re still rubber-banded to my manuscript wherever I buried it for the protection of all mankind.
Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.
The question bucket currently has: 18 questions