Ten Real Words and Where They (Probably) Came From

Some evenings, I can entertain myself for hours, knowing that somewhere, somehow conversations like these probably happened:

Robin: I’ve got this awful triangular tear in my shirt.
Taylor: I can fix that for you.
Robin: Seriously?
Taylor: I do it all the time. ALL the time. Even had to come up with a name for those tears.
Robin: What?
Taylor: It’s a winklehawk.
Robin: You’re a winklehawk.

Jordan: My horse has the hiccups again.
Logan: Horse? Hiccups?
Jordan: Yeah.
Logan: Horse hiccups?
Jordan: Yeah.
Logan: That’s a thing?
Jordan: Yeah.
Logan: [squints]
Jordan: We could call them ‘thumps’.

Quinn: I got a job as a tightrope walker!
Taylor: Awesome! But it needs a more impressive title. I’m thinking, funambulator.
Raven: I got a job too! I’m that person at the carnival that people pay to throw balls at.
Taylor: No. You’re a modoc.

Mallory: Man, my noop hurts.
Riley: Noop?
Mallory: That’s what I’m calling the sharp point of my elbow now. [points] My noop.

Tracey: I spent all week telling people their futures by watching the bubbles in the fountain in front of the house.
Chase: …
Tracey: I’m thinking of calling it pegomancy.
Chase: Do that.

Tanner: Augh! I just got hit on the head by one of those runty apples we left on the tree after the harvest!
Gale: That takes WAY too long to say.
Tanner: Yeah. And you know we’re going to have to say it a lot.
Gale: Scroggling?
Tanner: Scroggling.
Gale: [snickers] You got hit on the head by a scroggling.
Tanner: So did Sir Isaac Newton! Probably.

Phoenix: Oh, no, I’m not agnostic. I’m a bibliolator.
Hayden: I’m sorry. That means…
Phoenix: Books are gods.
Hayden: Naturally.

Reese: Whew. I didn’t think I was going to recover from that… [mutters through a few syllables] zugzwang.
Parker: What did you just say?
Reese: [laughs] Zugzwang? I don’t even know.
Parker: I like it. It sounds horrible. We should keep it. We could use it for… I don’t know… the worst thing on the planet?
Reese: A really bad chess move?
Parker: Yes!

Alex: I can’t keep this tassel out of my face.
Peyton: That sounds like a personal problem.
Alex: Why do we have to graduate in these things?
Peyton: Someone needed a good laugh.
Alex: I swear, if this thing runs into my nose one more time, I’m naming it, so I can take it to court and sue it!
Peyton: As any logical, adult, educated human being would do.

Morgan: Sometimes I just want to give that guy a good… [mimes hitting him swiftly on the side of the head] whisterpoop.
Sidney: Someday you’ll have to get over your inability to verbalize the desire for violence.
Morgan: Someday the world will have to embrace the word “whisterpoop”.
Sidney: At which point, you will never be able to say it again, because it will actually mean what you use it to replace.
Morgan: … Don’t make me give you a good whisterpoop.


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