Gwendoogle Part CXX – ANM’s Third Birthday

Gwendoogle partyAnswers served with party hats. Take one. :)

Today is the third anniversary of the late-night whim that created Apprentice Never Master. To celebrate, every question in today’s Gwendoogle will be answered with the words “Happy Birthday, Apprentice Never Master” repeated with meaningful inflections.

All right. That would be difficult to do. It would be nearly impossible in text. So, all answers will be given in anagrams of “Happy Birthday, Apprentice Never Master.”

Or, maybe not. Because I’m not sure what question “A carpenter’s empire braved thy hippy ant!” would answer. So, all answers will be given, using only the letters of the alphabet used in “Happy Birthday, Apprentice Never Master.”

Or, maybe not that either, because that’s only 15 letters of the alphabet, and while a, b, c, d, e, h, i, m, n, p, r, s, t, v, and y are lovely letters – and I can use them to spell “a bardic nymph vest” – I’d like more. So, all answers will be given without using any of the letters in “Happy Birthday, Apprentice Never Master.”

Wait. Nope. That only leaves me eleven letters of the alphabet. I’d be wandering around saying Fgjkloquwxz! for the next hour.

So, all answers will given as usual. After all, I’ve already used up the number of times I can say “Happy Birthday, Apprentice Never Master” in this post. ;)

Neekers searched: How do you finish a nap?
Dream about a baby prince elephant who came to your house on an epic quest for a thousand clean socks so that he can use them to to keep his herd’s noses warm for the winter. You feel bad because, you would give him the very socks on your feet, but they are, of course, dirty. When the baby prince elephant trumpets to call the town together to make a plea for socks, you will jerk awake.

After five minutes, you will remember very little, except for a vague feeling that you should do some laundry. And you probably had that feeling before you took your nap.

MadamLibrarian: How do you define power, and what would make you the most powerful person in a room?
Self-control is power. It’s the best kind of power, the easiest to lose, but nearly impossible to have stolen.

I don’t think there’s anything that could make me the most powerful person in the room, except maybe a good kick in the head that would force me to be a little slower to spin through my reactions.

Ducky searched: What’s your favorite song that includes the world “birthday”?
Most days:

Most midnights when it seems like a good idea to throw a one-woman dance party right before bed:

I am a complicated woman.

Madam Librarian: Who of your characters embarrasses you the most?
It’s been a while since Gwendoogle wandered into my character lounge, but I think this question demands that I at least crack the door open so that every one of my characters can glare at you.

There is one character, created when I was eleven or twelve, which I can occasionally be bothered to be embarrassed by. She could turn into a dragon. Her name was Dragana.

Dragana wore a special coat because she could turn into a dragon, but it was a great big secret that she could turn into a dragon. She was an orphan, who was raised in an orphanage, where all the other high-class orphans who couldn’t turn into dragons hated her for no good reason and taunted her with ice skating parties that they never invited her to. Then, she moved to a school for magic because the orphanage didn’t want her any more and schools obviously feed, clothe, and house their students for free. Then she got friends and cool powers, and ended up fighting her evil uncle, that she didn’t know she had. Because, really, who is ever aware that they have an evil uncle?

But the rest of my characters? They don’t embarrass me. I’m pretty sure I embarrass them.

Kate Kearney searched: Favorite beverage?
Something lemon-lime, or lemon, or lime, carbonation optional. (It’s not quite as catchy as James Bond’s drink of choice, but I think if you say “carbonation optional” in the same tone as “shaken, not stirred” it comes close.)

MadamLibrarian searched: How do you deal with anxiety?
Me, personally? Not well. I ignore it. It’s about as helpful as deciding to take my own head off because it aches a little, but – somehow – I feel better about pushing through short panics, than I do long anxiousness.

I think you’re supposed to deal with anxiety with a few deep breaths, and a quiet, reasonable, kind discussion between your conscious and sub-conscious about whether there is anything you can currently be doing to help the situation. If there is nothing to be done, then my ignoring thing is right on track. If there is something you can do that could improve the situation, I think you’re supposed to make a plan of action.

I think.

But I know you’re definitely supposed to breathe.

Flip the Otter searched: What is an interesting fact regarding sociology?
There’s a hypothesis – the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, which was never formally published by anyone named either Sapir or Whorf – that the languages we speak create or help to create our cognitive functions and methods of perception.

Different experiments have been set up to test this language relativity, including this study, in which a researcher named James Davidoff chased down the concept of “blue” in Namibia where the Himba tribe has no word for it. He placed blue and green squares directly next to each other, but the members of the Himba tribe who worked with him couldn’t see any difference.

I read this article months ago, but it stuck. Now, I wander around wondering what I don’t see simply because I don’t have a word for it. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my paranoia.

Ducky searched: What’s the difference between vegetation and vegetables?
Vegetation is any plant you can point to. If it’s not a rock or an animal, it’s vegetation.

Vegetables are only the edible plants. Every child under twelve is still debating what that means.

Ducky searched: Is tobacco a vegetable?
No. Thanks for playing.

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.

The question bucket is currently empty! Help fill it up.


One thought on “Gwendoogle Part CXX – ANM’s Third Birthday

  1. Do WordPress stats recognize when I read your posts off the reader in this new format they’ve set up? Because that is definitely a glitch that they should fix at some point…. How long does a bee sting take to stop hurting and/or heal? How many times do you need to say “down” without it making any difference before a dog is misbehaving? When was the rain barrel invented? I found a story of the discovery of soap in ancient Rome. Any evidence of soap earlier than that? In Greece maybe since I consider that your field of expertise? How hot is it in Mexico? At what age does a dog cease being a puppy?

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