Excuses XIV

#1 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Her: “He’s looking for a death wish!”
Friend: “He doesn’t have one yet…”
Friend 2: “He’s just in the market.”

#2 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Her: “Embrace the stealth pillage.”

#3 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Her: “Must… resist… urge… to make fool of self.”

#4 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Him: “Jail isn’t fun…”
Sister: “Yeah, I don’t like it… I mean… I’VE NEVER BEEN!”

#5 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Her: “At least ten thousand and one men died because of forest-related injuries.”

#6 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Her: “I turned down a farmboy because he would have always loved his cows more than he loved me.”

#7 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Her: “Don’t blindfold the dead!”

#8 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Him: “He was a master carpenter. I’m a functional wood destroyer.”

#9 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Her: “I came into this world bald and had to buy all my hair, darnnit!”

#10 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because:
Her: “What have you done for me lately?”
Roommate: “I haven’t killed you in your sleep yet.”

#11 – I’m not writing a proper blog post today because I’m running out of time, under the weather, low on sleep and having a much grander time wandering back down memory lane. Sometimes, as a writer, it’s utterly necessary to go back through those quotes from the university dinner table that you swore – swore on fingers and suns and the Secret Dorm Cat’s Fluffy Tail – you would let a fictional character use one day.

 

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