Gwendoogle Giveaway

GwendoogleThe joy that isn’t shared, dies young. – Anne Sexton

Official Rules:

  1. The twelve books being offered as prizes will be awarded to twelve entrants: six books to the people who submit the six questions that make me laugh the most, and six to the people who submit the six questions that I find the most interesting.
  2. Any comment on this post which contains a question (excluding any questions that obviously pertain to clarifying rules or procedures) is considered a valid entry and will be entered into consideration.
  3. You may submit up to three questions for consideration in the contest. If you submit more than three, only the first three will be considered.
  4. If there is a tie between two questions, preference will be given to the entrant who is following Apprentice Never Master either through their WordPress account or by email.
  5. The contest will be open for entries from the time this post goes live on October 4, 2015 to midnight EST on October 17, 2015.
  6. Winners will be notified by email on October 18th as well as being announced in October 18th’s Gwendoogle post. If the winners do not respond within a week of being contacted, a runner-up will be selected for their prize.
  7. If there are fewer than 25 entrants in total at the end of the contest, no winners will be selected and the contest may be rescheduled at my discretion.
  8. All entries may be saved for later use in Gwendoogle posts at my discretion.
  9. If you are under 18 years old, you must have parental permission to enter.
  10. You may not enter if you live outside the United States of America.
  11. You may not enter if you are directly related to me.

This contest is not sponsored. All prizes are provided by myself.

Here are few examples of Gwendoogle questions (and a few examples of how I answer them):

Flip the Otter searched: How and when do humans shrink?
Humans begin to lose height around the age of thirty. The bones in the spinal column slowly begin to lose the padding between them, so that they press more tightly together thanks to a funny thing called “gravity”. This way, most people will lose about an inch off their adult height. Osteoporosis can lead to further “shrinkage,” due to the edges of bones wearing away under movement over a long period of time, and no new bone material, or not enough bone material, being generated to replace it.

Humans can also lose mass at times when they either consume fewer calories than their bodies are currently using for energy, converting stored calories into… carbon dioxide apparently. 84% of the fat that is lost through diet or exercise will be eliminated through the lungs by breathing it out.

Kate Kearney searched: WHY IS IT SO HOT?
… I’m wearing a sweater, long pants, two pairs of socks, and my nose is cold.

[pauses, realizing her golden opportunity]

I think it’s just you. ;)

 photo Joeywantstoknowhowyouare_zpsk7ucj5tf.gif

MadamLibrarian searched: Can you locate a song that begins with or contains each of the following words: “chandelier,” “torrent,” potato chips,” “cement,” “black water,” and “pineapple soda”?
ChandelierChandelier by Sia
Lyrics: “I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier.”

TorrentTorrent by Asgeir
Lyrics: “Torrents wash away everything.”

Potato ChipsPotato Chips by Slim Gaillard
Lyrics: “Potato chips. How my mouth just drips!”

CementCement by Citizen
Lyrics: “Cement for all our teeth. Cement for all our teeth.”

Black WaterBlack Water by Of Monsters and Men
Lyrics: “I need nothing, I need nothing, but there’s something eating at me. Black water, take over.”

Pineapple SodaGet Ya Gun by Cam’ron (explicit)
Lyrics: “Here, drink this, it’s a pineapple soda.”

I bet you thought that last one was going to trip me up…

I definitely thought that last one was going to trip me up.

Ducky searched: How many more times do we have to rescue Matt Damon from inhospitable places?
Well, I figure we either keep rescuing him – following the example in Saving Private Ryan, The Martian, and Interstellar – or he’ll come storming back to New York to figure out what we’re up to, Bourne-style.

So… a hundred? Maybe a hundred and one more times?

Neekers searched: Who invented the umbrella?
The who is probably beyond our knowledge at this point, and so is the when. We know from art that umbrellas were being used in Egypt, Greece, and China approximately four thousand years ago. The firmest early records come from China, and the umbrella is likely to have originated there. They kept the rain off by laying oiled or waxed paper over mulberry bark or bamboo frames.

Neekers searched: Did parasols or umbrellas come first?
If we are defining a parasol as a portable contraption to keep the sun off your head, and an umbrella as a portable contraption to keep the rain off your head, then the parasol came first.

Umbrella itself comes from the Latin umbra, which means “shade” or “shadow.” It can be literally translated as “little shade.” (And now I want to use it as a name for a young ghost…)

Umbrellas weren’t popularized as rain shields until the 1700s.

Flip the Otter searched: Definition of “yiolturaswe”?
Drunken speech which has become too slurred for comprehension. The noun was coined in honor of a particularly emphatic sentence that a man named Mike spent an evening repeating.

Scholars are still debating as to whether the original sentence should be interpreted as “you all turn away,” “you all turn the switch,” or “you all smell like turtle soup.”

More Gwendoogle searches can be found here.

Thank you, good luck, and happy searching!


7 thoughts on “Gwendoogle Giveaway

  1. If you had to retell the story of your life using books to represent it, which books would you choose and why? If asparagus could talk, what would it say? If you were a classically-recognized fairy tale creature, which would you be?

    (Also, good luck and LOVE LOVE LOVE.)

  2. Why are people who sleep late looked down on compared to their early rising counterparts even when they are awake and functional for the same amount of hours every day?

  3. Pingback: Book Giveaway! | Rachel Poli

  4. I saw probably like six books I’d be interested in so… *cracks knuckles* Lets do this.

    1) Why is my mom so short?

    2) If our blogs had a baby, what kind of blog would that baby be?

    3) My father wears a fedelo and tends to get his P’s and Q’s mixed up. Along with this, he is also hyppy and haper and a general menace to society. What clocker lockination should I use to keep him secured in my basement?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s