The original plan for today’s post was to list my ten favorite quotes from books I had read this year. I gave up on that after about fifteen minutes I couldn’t figure out how to rank
But how awful would that be? How terrible to live surrounded by the stark, sharp hollowness of things that simply were enough?
– The Slow Regard of Silent Things by Patrick Rothfuss
Caldris led them over to a large covered basket that sat on the stones near the docked dinghy. He undid the cover, reached in and removed a live kitten.
“Hello, you monstrous little necessity.”
“Mrrrrwwwwww,” said the monstrous little necessity.
– Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch
on the same list. Then I did what I do best: procrastinated with YouTube, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, and Writing Ridiculous Things, and found this:
[gives up on that, too]
I mean, clearly, I am now going to give you the Top Ten Page 45 Predictions from books I read last year, ranked from At least that makes sense as a vague prophecy to Yeah… that sounds accurate:
10. Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch says:
“Uncertain,” said the chorus of merchants as they began to step backward, widening their circle.
Interpretation: If I were a more normal human being, I would count this one as the most honest prediction, but I’m not, so it just sort of makes me chuckle.
6. The Archived by Victoria Schwab:
“No, it’s not so bad,” I say at last with a smile.
Interpretation: Optimism is a beautiful thing, and will serve in the same the function as an Emergency Flotation Device during 2016.
9. The Secret History of Moscow by Ekaterina Sedia says:
It’s just the cat, they would tell themselves even when the feline was sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed.
Interpretation: Something wicked this way comes… and I’m going to mistake it for the cat that I don’t own.
8. The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black says:
So, she went to parties and pretended nothing bothered her.
Interpretation: I get to go to parties! And ignore the cat that I don’t own!
7. The World That Forgot How to Dance by Olivia Berrier:
The awkwardness of it would have been overpowering if she focused on it, so Ellsie let herself journey deep into the dance instead.
Interpretation: This year is going to come with some strange, mildly uncomfortable things. I’m going to learn the samba.
5. Vicious by V.E. Schwab says:
When Eli picked up Victor from the airport a few days before the start of spring semester, he was wearing the kind of smile that made Victor nervous.
Interpretation: I’m changing my name to Victor some time in the next twelve months and I’m going to get a very good idea on an airplane.
4. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi says:
“HANDS UP, FEET APART, MOUTHS SHUT.”
Interpretation: It is possible, maybe, a little bit, in one of the potential futures which take the moment I disembark from that plane as their inciting incident, that my very good idea, will have some unintended results. I would venture to say that it might be my fault.
3. The Republic of Thieves by Scott Lynch says:
“How dare you,” said the young woman.
Interpretation: Not a prediction. A catchphrase.
2. The Martian by Andy Weir says:
After all that work and getting blown up, I’m exhausted.
Interpretation: I think I may have gleaned some of the possible unintended results.
1. The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater says:
But Gansey never minded retelling the story.
Interpretation: 2016 is going to be mythic.