Gwendoogle CXLII – Midnight, Ballgowns, and Mice, but no Cinderella

GwendoogleAnswers served with some… philosophy?

MadamLibrarian searched: How do you measure time?
In minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries.

In YouTube videos watched. In repetitions of You Need Me I Don’t Need You. In glasses of water and sticks of gum.

In books read, blog posts written, full night sleeps taken, playlists exhausted.

In tanks of gas. In grocery runs. In laundry loads. In lists checked off.

In cold midnights. In cracking sunrises and long afternoons. In inside jokes.

In haircuts grown out, roadtrips taken, weddings attended, shoes worn through.

In whatever it takes to remember that the clock has two shaping hands, not just sixty tick marks.

Kathryn searched: Where do you find expert help for PC operation?
I prefer to use life’s Phone-A-Friend option for most of my PC needs. The perks include getting a friendly voice on the other end of the line, a rambling exploration of your computer, at least one instance of “Hey I wonder what this button doesOH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, STEVE, AND RODRIGUEZ I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO THAT,” possibly some comical swearing, and exactly no gold expended.

If you’ve already used your Phone-A-Friend and still don’t have an answer Geeks to Go looks promising…

MadamLibrarian searched: If you could take one class with your favorite professor, what would it be?
Introduction to Not Being a Stupid Jackass

The best part of this class, is that any of my four favorite professors from college would teach it brilliantly and the material would be different enough for me to repeat it four times.

I might even be a smart jackass at the end of it.

Kathryn searched: Why do I enjoy looking at pictures of haute couture dresses?
Before answering, I’m going to invite you all to join me in two assumptions: First, that fashion – clothing design, textile manufacturing, sewing, embroidery, fabric manipulation, etc. – is an art medium. Second, that the creation and consumption of art is a human condition which we have not figured out how to shake.

Then, I’m going to invite you to sidestep the quagmires of Why do we create and consume art? and How do we define art? and What makes good art? because I don’t feel like flailing in intellectual quick sand today. I spent enough time in university classrooms doing that. You won’t like the noises I make when I accidentally get metaphorical sand in my mouth from all the thrashing.

Let’s skip right to:

Haute couture dresses present a unique manifestation of art, in that it not only invites marvel and appreciation over workmanship accomplished, but also speculation on identity and personal transformation: Who would wear this? Who would I be if I wore this?

The emotional reaction to a painting or a photograph is wrapped up in catching a glimpse of the artist’s perspective. The reaction to a sculpture is the strange way we’re allowed to freeze a moment in time and catch every perspective. The reaction to a song can be a thousand things, but seems most often to be the condensing of a feeling into a chorus we can sing a long to, emphasize with, share in, scream as an anthem. A book or a movie offers an adventure without risk, an experiment in situation.

Wearable art asks you to fantasize about, or at least speculate on how others might like look at you.

And let’s face it, we all imagine the artists as our Fairy Godmothers, capable of remaking us – or someone beside us – into something powerful.

MadamLibrarian searched: How do you get rid of a mouse?
Set out poison.

Set out traps.

Set you cotton balls drenched in either pure peppermint oil or clove oil, depending on whether you’ll be better able to stand your house smelling like a winter wonderland or a warm holiday.

Tin foil every surface in your house, not as a prank, but because mice don’t seem to like the shine or the noise.

Pepper spray ’em.

Make friends with them. Be a very clingy friend. Drive them away with your extreme emotional dependency, possibly also turning them into extreme commitment-phobes and saving the next person down the line from a rebound infestation.

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.

The question bucket currently has: 6 questions


One thought on “Gwendoogle CXLII – Midnight, Ballgowns, and Mice, but no Cinderella

  1. How do you get back to writing a story after a long time without writing a word? Have you ever taken a long break from writing? How do YOU picture my female protagonist? (Yes, we’re apparently still fighting, though we’re getting nearer a reconciliation, I think.)

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