Gwendoogle – I Am Not A Zombie

GwendoogleAnswers served with metaphors! Asterisks! Ne’er-Do-Wells!

Kate Kearney searched: Do you like spring?
I would rank the seasons like this:

  1. Winter – Best thing ever. Wear your comfiest sweaters. Wear boots. Light socially acceptable fires. Throw all the holiday parties. Enjoy a black and white world. Read every book you’ve ever want to read. Build a snowman, a snow fort, and many many snowballs.
  2. Autumn – An excellent thing. Paint the world in warm colors. Enjoy the new confidence of the wind. Celebrate my birthday. Put on a costume and prowl for candy in the dark. Put pumpkin in everything except coke (that needs a lime). Write with a drive it like you stole it attitude.
  3. Spring – A very good thing. Admire the daffodils. Stop catching a rhino virus every two weeks. Remember that things like beaches and parks exist. Read a book in the sunshine to feel wild and sophisticated at the same time. Probably go to a wedding. Dance.
  4. Summer – Worst thing ever. Whose idea was this? I did not ask for this. Take it back. Take the bugs back too.

Ducky searched: Is a fiddle the same as a violin?
They are exactly the same instrument. The difference is all in how you play it, and who’s talking.

Traditionally violins are used to play classical music, while a fiddle is used in folk styles. However, there are classical musicians who refer to their very elegant instrument as a fiddle, and country folk who saw away on their violins. Either way, they’re working with a magnificent sound.

Kate Kearney searched: Will you pick three of your characters and tell me what kind of animal they are most like and why?
Zain Visade – is a corgi. He is bold, happy, and grins the widest when kept in the middle of all the action. Unfortunately, he is a Corgi who was raised beside – and is best friends with – a German shepherd and a cougar, so he’s a little arrogant and has developed some of the trouble-seeking habits of a much larger dog.

Vardan Derristan – is an orca. He hunts and dominates on the ocean, athletic and fiercely group oriented. He should be fast, communicative, and playful. Separated from his pod, however, he’s vulnerable and a little mean. He’s trying to adopt a dolphin, a leopard seal, and a freakin’ puffer fish*. Needless to say, it’s working like a paper oven.

Damion Reanden – is a penguin. He looks fairly friendly. He looks good in a suit. And he’ll push one of his own off a cliff because he thinks there might be a predator down below.

*Puffer fish is a poor description of this character. However, it was the first animal to come to mind, and it made me giggle like a tipsy hyena. [pause] A tipsy hyena is a better description of him, though, still not at all right.

HeidiHoHeidi searched: Type “is this a” into Google, then answer all the questions that come up.
Image result:
Is this a

1. No. Definitely not. I have never, ever, in my whole life, died and I have a heartbeat to prove it!

2. Yes. I used my extra day to watch television. I would like another, if it is available.

3. I don’t know why you’d want the first episode when there are other episodes with titles like:

  • No, It’s a Vampire Ninja
  • Yes, I Summon Death
  • No, That Will Explode
  • No, Get Lost, Good Sir
  • Ah, My Darling is a Ne’er-Do-Well

4. No, “this” is a demonstrative adjective. It is always used to point toward a specific noun, though sometimes the noun is implied.

Kate Kearney searched: Is there a song that includes death lasers?
Probably. Unfortunately, all my attempts to find it are being blocked by the band “Death Laser” who seem to have filled all avenues of intelligence with their music. Clever.

Have a question for Gwendoogle? Leave it in comments below and I’ll be back next week to answer it.

The question bucket currently has: 18 questions

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